I went and did it again! I’m not celebrating me, I’m reprimanding myself. See, I went and compared myself to someone else again. And, it was not going to help me build my self esteem.
I’ll tell you how I was comparing myself: I was sitting in a conference. There, on stage, was a woman who was sharing her experiences of how her business had grown in the last 6 months. I started comparing myself to her. Have you ever done that? See if any of what my inner voice started saying sounds familiar:
Geeze, didn’t I do all that? I should be up there. Really? Why not me?
Of course, she could do all that, she doesn’t have any of the obligations in her life that I do.
She has way more support than I do; of course she can get it done.
It was easy for her she has so many connections.
And, the ultimate: She’s so much prettier than I am no wonder people flock to her!
Eh gad! This was no way to build myself esteem...ugh! Einsteen was right: “Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” I was judging myself as a fish in front of a tree!
Fortunately, I was able to catch myself this time. I’ve done so much personal growth it came quickly and I recognized exactly what I was doing and STOPPED it!!!!!!!!
Here is my quick and easy formula to stop comparing yourself to other’s and build your own self-esteem (using the example above):
1) Recognize that you are doing it. I caught myself doing it and immediately said “Laura, stop it ~ shift your thoughts now!”
2) Forgive yourself. I then said to myself: “You are forgiven for reacting in a human way.”
3) Celebrate the person on their accomplishments. I sent great energy and vibes to the woman on stage from where I was sitting and then followed it up with a congratulatory card ~ handwritten and in the mail.
4) Remind yourself that “All is not as it seems.” We are only comparing through our own ‘ego-eyes’ and often, that is not a realistic view of what you are comparing yourself too. I may have said the things to me above but I knew~ deep inside ~ this person had overcome many challenges and probably many I didn’t know about to get where she was.
5) Switch the Comparison to Inspiration. Look at who you are comparing yourself to and use it to INSPIRE you. I created this affirmation after recognizing this person’s accomplishments. “I know that I am and will continue to do so much and am achieving success right now and for this I am so grateful”
6) Immediately start writing down what you have achieved & start using a Success Box. Even the little things count and matter! I wrote down on a piece of paper as many of the accomplishments that I had achieved in the last 6 months. After the conference, I went to my success box and meandered through it. It’s a box that is filled with cards and kudos from people I admire about what I have done for them. It has pieces of paper like the one I wrote on about what I feel I have accomplished as well.
7) Move. Yes, move. Accept where you are, recognize where you want to go and MOVE. Take one step in that direction and believe in yourself. In the case above, this may sound silly, but I went upstairs to my room at the break, re-did my make-up and looked deep into my eyes and said “Wow…….you are so beautiful.” I needed that reminder. When I went downstairs, another attendee/colleague who I had yet to meet but knew through good ole FB grabbed meand said “Laura, I finally found you! I just wanted to say to you that you’ve inspired me so much on our Group these past few months! I want to talk to you about becoming a client of your’s!” *You can bet I wrote this down on a piece of paper and went into my success box!
Stop comparing yourself to Other’s and Build Your Self-Esteem! By following this formula, I quickly and easily switched from letting my thoughts take me away from the genius that I am and toward comparing myself to a fish trying to climb a tree. I’m human and yes, I started going there! But, boy, my Self-Esteem was on FIRE after I did those 5 quick things! Your’s can be too.
Do you often compare yourself to other’s personally? Professionally? What have you done to stop it?